I'm acquiring our old yard's (it's just been sold) cat called Frank tonight!
He is an ace cat and is approx 14 and sleeps in the sun or on warm things most of the day, he's all black and has a rip to one of his ears after a fight with a rat. He's a sweetie that makes a great cat scarf too He also likes his alone time (bit like me lol)
I have only ever had dogs or horses so any top tips are welcome! I'll be off out tonight to buy a deep cat litter tray as he kicks for miles and a cat scratch post, he already has a bed and blankets to snooze on...
Perfick! Plenty lying about at the yard, will chuck one in the car tonight
I have a feeling we'll bumble along together for a bit getting used to each other properly. He seemed to settle okay last night and slept on my laptop bag rather than his bed or the blanket I got out for him. He's eating and using the litter tray, but was a bit meow-y this morning when he saw me as I think he wants to go out, but I'm that close to the old yard and a busy road I daren't let him out for fear of him not coming back...
Some people say put butter on their paws when they go out, the theory is that they will stop and lick the butter off their paws and look round where they are, but I think thats just an old wives tale
1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call friend.
6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get friend to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down, remove ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered Doulton figures from hearth and set to one side for glueing later.
8) Wrap cat in large towel and get friend to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force cat's mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9) Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to friend's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10) Retrieve cat from neighbour's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw Tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12) Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologise to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.
13) Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed, hold cat's mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet of steak. Hold head vertically and pour pint of water down throat to wash pill down.
14) Get friend to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15) Arrange for RSPCA to collect cat. Ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
He also likes his alone time (bit like me lol)
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