Can someone please explain this to me? My humans gone mad!

[Bettyboo222]

The cats are allowed on big humans bed! I'm not even allowed on big humans bed, there is a little black cat that I get shouted at for chasing mum says she is a 'hand-rear' I don't know what this means but she is a very strange cat she lies around the humans neck whilst she is walking and when all the humans are sleeping she suddenly makes noise until big human cuddles her!

We haven't got any snowy stuff yet either, keep warm.

Kisses and pawprints

Biscuit

[LauraWheeler]

[Meggymoo]

Dear Charlie Brown,

I think............














I am...................














In love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You are just sooooooo handsome, but I am afraid it can never be. Apart from the distance, ( I dont think either of us could keep up that amount of travelling, ) I......I........I......... can't give you a baby skinny grey!!!!!! Those humans at the kennels ( before my niiiiiice humans) did something called "having me done" and so there can never be the patter of tiny paws. Apart from that, you do have very short legs! But I shall always love you from afar!

Love and slobbery kisses,

Skinny grey
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[LauraWheeler]

Skinny grey
How far away are you I was running for 4 hours on Friday are you further away than that
Apparently I can't make babies anymore. I got ill afew months ago (Apparently anyway. I felt fine but my human started panicing about blood in my wee) So I had to go to the vets for a special oparation. I don't feel any diffrent though so don't see what all the fuss was about.
I don't have short legs I'm HUGE I'm the biggest dog there ever was. I am very very handsom though.
Must go though as I need to warm up under the duvet. We walked for 2hours again to the mud monsters and it was quite cold. Sadly the snow is melting. My human was very happy about that but i'm sad.
Lots of Love,
Charlie Brown. xx

[Meggymoo]

My dearest Charlie Brown,

I am so sorry, I didnt mean to offend you, that is the last thing I would do. My human has very, veeeeeery short legs! Her RI is always taking the pee about how short they are, but she really doesnt mind - she says it isnt so far to fall when she slips onto her bum in the snow like she did the other day! They would also be very handy for crawling down rabbits burrows, and with your nice toned body you wouldnt get stuck like she would, but I, on the other hand have the longest legs you have ever seen! They go all the way up to my bum! They used to go ever so fast when my previous humans took me to the race track. I dont know how far they could run though, my human says we are about 150 miles apart, so it looks as though my love for you will will have to be from afar!

My human has got to go back to the yard now to give all the mud monsters (all? all? how many are there for God sake!) their teas. Says something about us living the closest and people still not getting there so shes still helping out. Serves her right, I say for being so eager to help in the first place!!! Anyway, it means I can sneak back onto the sofa for a couple of hours.

All my love and snuggles,

Skinny grey
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Meggymoo]

Dear Charlie Brown,

I am considering running away from home.

I have a red handkerchief with white spots all ready to wrap my belongings in and a big pointy stick to tie it to to carry over my shoulder. If I head south and look for some trees, I think I will find you, so do you think you could ask your human if she will give me a home, because things have gone quite, quite mad here.

Let me start at the beginning. Last Friday, fat lab had been moaning to me about feeling a bit poorly, well, not 'a bit', more 'ever so ever so' but as he's a man I didnt really pay much attention. Anyway, on Friday evening, after much fussing about and lots of talking into that thing in the hall that makes funny ringing noises and sometimes talks when theres no one in (what the hell is that all about???) they put fat labs lead on and went out...... WITHOUT ME!!!!!!!!! How very dare they!!!! Anyway, ages later, they came home - without him. Human's eyes were leaking, humans daughter's eyes were leaking, human men looked a bit glum (dont think their eyes leak). All this leaking went on all next day, only even more so. I was beginning to get worried about more flooding! And still no sign of fat lab. Well, we finally get to Sunday and the thing in the hall made its ringy noise and human spoke to it........... and started smiling! A couple of hours later they went off out (without me AGAIN) but come back with...........FAT LAB!!!! How pleased I was to see him! And I think he was pleased to see me really. He did act a bit funny though and I thought he was going to fall flat on his bum when ever he stood up for more than a few minutes.

Well, to get back to running away from home, do you know what? I think they have forgotten all about me!! Fat lab is getting sooooo much fuss and now, although humans eyes leak, they are laughing at the same time! Confused.com!!! Whats more, they said something about "my turn" at the vets tonight. Oh noooooo! Does this mean I'm going to have stuff squirted in my eyes again, that makes my eyes go florescent green and humans call me devil dog! Oh well, at least Human says its the nice man thats got no fur on his head!

Of course, there has been an "up" side to all this. Fat lab has been allowed to lie on the sofa! And guess what! They couldnt allow him on the furniture without letting me too! RESULT!!!!!! Perhaps I will hang around a bit longer and see how things go.

Love and doggy snogs,

Skinny grey
xxx

PS Human cant go and ride Mud monster this morning, because fat lab has been on laxatives since Saturday and they have just kicked in. Stand back everybody, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Meggymoo]

Dear Charlie Brown,

Do you think you could do me a favour please? Would you go and give your human some doggy cuddles off me and fat lab. Everyone canine knows that doggy cuddles make thinks better.

Love,

Skinny Grey
xxx

[LauraWheeler]

Dear Skinny Grey,
Sorry I've not been on for a while I've been very buisy giving doggie cuddles to the humans and bog hopping.
My human says it would take me alot longer than 4 hours to walk 150miles. So you must be a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong way away. She did say however if I run off again like I did yesterday she'll pop me in a box and give me to the postman and he'll bring me upto yours. I honestly don't see what all the fuss is about. I didn't go far. She was taking us on a short walk and nowhere near any bogs. We were going passed some trees so I went for an explore and I found RABBITS and she knows I love chasing rabbits. They kept cheating and going down holes so I had to try and dig them out. They do go along way underground them rabbits you know. Besides I didn't go very far away and I kept coming back to check the human and Gem were ok. She was just stood there calling me so I knew she was fine so I had abit more fun. Anyway when I had had enough and came back she told me I had wasted 20mins and she wasn't pleased. But how can 20mins chasing rabbits be wasted. Honestly these humans don't get it do they.
To be honest I'm thinking of jumping into the postmans car. Do you know what happened the otherday while we were out walking. I came across a puddle I sometimes paddle in but it was much wider than it has been before but I know it's not deep so I jumped in. well someone must have dug a hole as I sank upto my neck. Do you know what my human did! She didn't come to help me ohno she just stood there and laughed so I had to do my best impressition that I ment to do it.
Then yesterday before I ran off I found a ball. I picked it up and was carrying it along but had to put it down so I could sniff a bush. I turned round and Gem was trying to steal it!!!!! I quickly picked it up and took it off and hid it. Noone has any respect for me here. But atleast I get to sleep on the bed under the duvet and the humans are my hot waterbottles at night.
I hope you are ok.
Love
Charlie Brown. xx