I Don't Know What To Do!!

[MrsMozart]

Question: If Charlie had to be retired and you had a choice of Missi or a horse that you could get on and go and have some fun with, which would be your preference?

I ask only because Missi is, to all intents and purposes, blinking hard work with little in the way of pure joy and benefit to you.

With regards to your confidence and the fear after she went up, that is perfectly understandable. Many (many!) people would never have got on her again. I have a fear of rearing after losing a friend to a horse going over on her. It makes it extra worrying in Missi's case if there isn't an apparent trigger.

Forgot to say - thought of the 3.5 tonne as cheaper to get through MOTs, etc., and far cheaper to run in terms of fuel. Also takes up far less space and can be parked in more places.

[3Beasties]

It would depend which Missi it was lol! When I was out and about doing stuff with her I wouldn't have considered getting something else as she did everything I wanted!

I did used to have fun with her, enjoy her, want to ride her etc but everything about the circumstances (working hours, income, facilities) was different then.

[Spottyappy]

You're caught between a rock and a hard stone if you feel like that - I.e. should Charlie be unable to do what you want.
however, by your own admission, nerves are an issue. I get that, mine are too. None of our horses have ever reared though. But, if she has only gone up when there is an issue, I would have dealt with it when I was younger. I did deal with a rearer and in fact his biggest issue was that he hated the yard his owners were on, a big commercial one. Came to me and - it was a long story rather than an over night transformation- he was much more suited to a quiet yard and one to one attention. I would not deal with it now with fragile confidence,and would move the horse on.
So, if this Also goes back to Missi being better on a bigger yard and especially in more work, A sharer may indeed help. There will be the right one out there, and I doubt your home set up would put them off, but you may have a long search and wait to get the right one. Having facilities may speed it up, it may not.
maybe a loan would be best suited, as you could end it should your circumstances change?
However, whatever you feel, if you sold her, it is such a buyers market that you would undoubtedly find something else that gives you confidence and you enjoy. Although, they are mostly not cheap.
Horses are definitely meant to be fun for leisure riders and you really aren't sounding like that's currently so.
Just one other thought, could you find time and Money for some lessons to help both of you, and find the bond you once had? That may be decisive if you find it, or more so if not.....

[RubysGold]

I'm not good at this kind of thing. So won't offer advice.

But I didn't want to read and run. I hope you can find the right answer for you

[leflynn]

She sounds like the last horse that H had and sadly lost - in her minds eye he was perfect, moved beautifully, well schooled, like competing, was advancing her riding - problem was that she has a very busy job, can only ride3 times a week sometimes and only for about 30 mins max, having retired merls finances a bit stretched so couldn't afford much extra for him. He wouldn't hack with her, he was stressy, threw his toys out the pram, needed probably 45mins-1hr intense schooling 5/6 times a week. She couldn't do that, it was stressing her out a bit I think, sadly any decision was taken away when he coliced and she lost him, but new pony Alfie is more like Merls/Charlie - can be picked up/put down/does a bit of everything, is forward enough and has enough personality not to be dull - may never make GP/novice eventing but she can drag him out after 2 weeks off and do whatever (might be a few squuee moments), I can see she is much happier, more relaxed getting on better.

Red won't showjump (defo not indoors), I was advised to either loan him out or sell him or not jump. He is still mine because he'll happily do other things for me - when he refused to leave the yard coming back into work and I sat for an hour and a half one day not really moving, kicking him/shouting/coaxing/on facebook waiting it out - I sat on his back and cried because I knew that if he wouldn't even hack there was no chance I could keep him. Thank feck the little swine moved off the yard!!!!

All I'm saying is that if you can find some help in whatever form and it doesn't work don't be frightened to sell and get another that suits you and your life more. They are hard work and expensive and we should enjoy it and not have a feeling of dread or can't be bothered (yeah I know winter is an exception for that!). I would find it hard being on my own on my own yard at the tough times, which is why a friend/sharer might be a starting point or like others above have said move yards for a bit and give her and you a shot, if it doesn't work you have a field to chuck her into while you ponder or sell/loan?

Don't beat yourself up about being negative, not that negative just maybe more realistic and thats hard when its an emotional decision about another animal xx

[svmel]

I agree with pretty much everything everyone has said so far.

I do think a sharer will help you out immensely in the short term - she will get more work, which she needs. Maybe this will need a change of living arrangements for her to facilitate this, I don't know.... maybe find a sharer and fully explain the situation, maybe stating that if things go well you would maybe move her to a place with more opportunity and facilities in the future, which will mean more consistent work for Missi and the sharer, making it easier for you to hop on and have fun.
I know you're worried or pessimistic about the chances of finding the perfect sharer, but you never know when that person will pop up.

From what I see in your post, you need a break, and some help, and when this decision is made, you'll have more time and brain space to make a decision about your job......